I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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