I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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