a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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