Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
