Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I didn't notice because vodka
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
