Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
