we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize