you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
