I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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