I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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