Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
