I puked a lego.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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