I need help removing her.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
