Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
