Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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