i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
