Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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