Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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