No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize