Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
