Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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