ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
