i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
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