I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
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I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
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But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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