What did we do last night that was yellow?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
