You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
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My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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