i jhust puked up my retainher.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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