I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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