Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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