I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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