I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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