I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
