Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
