Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
