you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
