i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So apparently I’m into choking now
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
