You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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