At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
try to milk me bitch
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize