i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
