my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
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Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
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The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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