I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
he's gonorrhea incarnate
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
