Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
