Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I forget how to act sober
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize