Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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