1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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