bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Can I color on your dick again?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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