There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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