I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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