wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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