i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
