She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
cat food counts as protein by the way
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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