is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
