3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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