I feel like abortions should bother me more
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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