Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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