And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
