Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
