Who did Billy Mays play for?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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