good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize